In the spirit of Valentine’s Day I decided to write a post about love. This post is all about how to attract and keep a strong, long-lasting relationship. I met my husband when I was 15 and he was 16. We dated throughout high school and college. He moved to Mississippi for college, then transferred to my school, then I transferred and studied abroad, and through it all, our love stayed strong. We gained and lost friends, relatives passed, adopted two puppies together, and grew into adults. Now that doesn’t mean we never took a break! We broke up about five times, usually for trivial reasons. Neither of us ever dated anyone else because our connection was special.
After we graduated college, we took a trip to Beale Street in Memphis, TN for New Years. Brad proposed and we had the coolest non-traditional, fiesta themed, budget wedding the following summer. For around $5,000 we had an open bar, beautiful decor & venue, live DJ,and all-you-can-eat-taco truck, for 200 guests. For our honeymoon, we went backpacking all over Costa Rica and returned to start a business together. Our love for each other grows exponentially and I look forward to all the future has to hold. I hope you can use this article as a guide to a deeper understanding of your relationship.
1. Choose Your Soul Mate.
I love my husband, but I refuse to believe that he is the only person I could ever love. Our relationship is like a fairytale but we’re about as opposite as it gets. We couldn’t be anymore different when it comes to our hobbies, relationships, and personalities. However, we hold similar values, morals, and beliefs. We spent a lot of our younger years on polar opposite ends of every argument. We thought “maybe we just don’t fit,” but something has become very apparent over time. Soul mates don’t exist. Or rather,we consciously choose the love that is worth overcoming incompatibilities. We’re born as individuals and die as individuals, therefore there will always be incompatibilities. In our time on Earth, we constantly choose the relationships we want in our lives and rid ourselves of the ones we do not.
2. Be Selfish.
Be selfish, but don’t be a brat. By selfish I mean put your soul’s evolution before everyone and everything else in your life. Doing this will help you to attract a partner that fits your goals and dreams. Ask yourself, “How is this person serving my greater purpose on Earth?” Never change who you are to please another person. If you make changes, be sure they’re for self-improvement, and something you truly want.
3. Say NO.
Being vocal with your partner can definitely cause some tension, but being dishonest with yourself will ultimately cause more problems. You have to help your partner understand how you think so that they can better understand what makes you, you. i understand there will be situations where one partner has more experience or is more affected by a decision. Having a child for example, would be a good time to vocalize if one person isn’t on board. Sleeping with the heater off for a night would not. Obviously this is very vague advice. Don’t be petty or immature, and it will help you to “choose your battles wisely.” If your partner truly has your best interest at heart, they may not agree with you, but they will respect you.
4. Listen to your Heart.
As cliche as it sounds, listening to your heart always leads you in the right direction. The problem is we’ve developed this superficial, worldly view of what the heart should feel and desire. The innate love you have for human beings will give you the most clarity and understanding. Listen to your innocent, unadulterated heart and you’ll learn to take people for who they are.
5. Be passive.
Work on growth, self-development, and following your dreams. The right person will come into your life as a direct result of your passive attraction. This doesn’t mean you should be passive in a relationship. You are equally as responsible for helping them become superior versions of themselves as they are you. There will always be something you disagree about or something to improve on. Be pro-active in your relationship, but passive when attracting a mate.
Being with someone long-term means constantly accepting the good with the bad. Be patient with your partner because long-lasting love takes time to mature. Trust that you’ll develop a unique rhythm that satisfies both of your dreams and desires. The next time your spouse does something that irritates you, remember, you’re choosing to be with them because they make you better. Without him (or her), and all the things that make him unique (positive & negative), you’re ultimately worse off.